Saturday, August 15, 2009

Memory Lane

He beeped the horn and waved through the window as he pulled out of the parking lot. He was driving on that same road he did so many times. It was quite warm for a winter day. A slight breeze was crawling through his hair as he looked at the tall trees and dark green fields that were rushing past him. He wasn't feeling what he expected to feel. He felt an unusual need to reminisce. He was driving on memories and the surroundings turned to blurry images as the only thing he could see right now was the past. The last six months have brought on an avalanche of experiences that can only be measured in the sudden gain in self-respect that he felt. Did he feel bad now that he was going back into the once despised lifestyle? Not at all. He felt a large emptiness that was compensated for by the beautiful memories he knew will follow him for the rest of his life, that were purely a glimmer of hope thrown into his lap by the ever-mocking fate. He cherished this moment. He realised that this was something that he needed. This emptiness had to be felt so he can realise that honesty is the path that always ends in a feeling of satisfaction that lies have tried so hard to achieve. He knew that he was a better person now, that he has no regrets and that if this road was in fact a portal into the past, he would work towards being where he was right now under the exact same circumstances. He knew the pain he was feeling now was but a stepping stone in the river of irony, joy and misery that we like to call la dolce vita. He was, after all, an optimist. He realised not so long ago that his life had turned into the most rewarding experience that he could ever wish for, and he knew that luck was not responsible for that; he himself was. He lived his life bound only by honesty and the aim to experience as much as he could in such a short time. Whenever he was dealt a blow he smiled and said 'after the pain is gone, im gonna feel a lot better and I know that I won't let it leave a mark'. He was in a state of melancholic happiness. He was enjoying his sadness for the first time in his life because of what the sadness was associated with; a period of absolute bliss. He was close to his destination, the surroundings were slowly morphing back into their normal appearance. With this he felt a sudden influx of a feeling that slowly overwhelmed him and was seeping out of his whole body. It was joy. 'I'm here' he said.
He pulled into the driveway, turned off the engine and with that switched the world back to its normal appeareance. He walked up the stairs to the white door. He unlocked it, walked into a new era and closed the old one behind him. But before he locked the door he whispered something under his breath. 'Thank you'.

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